Is collaborative law just for gay couples?
No. It's for anyone who wants a more dignified and respectful way of resolving family disputes. As collaborative law was still in its infancy in Britain when civil partnership was introduced we saw its potential for helping gay clients find a different way to handle legal problems arising out of relationships. It's a very adaptable process provided everyone involved is committed to being constructive, honest and respectful.
If we don't go to court, will our agreement really hold up under pressure?
The collaborative pledge is not to litigate matters in the courts, so all the decision-making stays with the couple and not a judge. However, whatever you agree can be made into a consent order and once this has happened it will be binding on you both in the same way as a court-imposed order.
If we decide not to go through the courts do we still have to fill in the financial forms?
Yes, you do. The collaborative process only works if everyone is open and honest about their finances. Full financial disclosure is needed to enable the collaborative team to agree on a fair outcome for both partners. If for any reason the collaborative process breaks down, you should be able to use the same forms for any court proceedings.
What if someone is less than truthful?
If someone lies or hides facts about their finances or something else material to the discussions, not only will it undermine the eventual outcome but it is also likely to lead to a breakdown in trust which would bring the whole process to an end. If it suspected that your partner is not being honest, your lawyer may recommend that you pull out of the process. If you lie, your lawyer will also need to withdraw. Although things are difficult at the end of a relationship, honesty is essential.
How can I be sure there is no secret dealing behind my back?
Because negotiations take place in the four-way meetings between both partners and their lawyers and letters between lawyers are discouraged, the process is very open. Some sensitive issues may mean that partners need to discuss things with their own lawyer in private but to reach agreement discussions must involve everyone in the process.
Surely if we can talk round a table together we don't need lawyers?
Being able to discuss things together can be a great start and indicates that collaborative law may be for you. By the time you begin the legal process, you may well be on the way to resolving disputes. The magic ingredient in the collaborative process is in the involvement of two skilled lawyers and negotiators to help you firm up solutions, get advice on any consequences and convert your agreements into legal binding arrangements which will stand the test of time. By choosing collaborative law, you are more likely to be able to continue talking things out together when everything is done and dusted.
How does collaborative law differ from mediation?
The crucial difference is that a mediator remains neutral and can't give each of you advice or help you get your point of view across. Their role is to facilitate discussion and, if discussions are successful, the outcome isn't binding unless you convert it into a consent order, for which you will need independent legal advice. The collaborative process has lots of the benefits of mediation and can simplify things by removing the need for additional legal advice at a later stage. More importantly, legal issues can be anticipated and resolved as things progress, avoiding the risks of an agreement becoming untangled at the end.
Will collaborative law save me money?
Not necessarily, but it can do. Forming agreements outside of court is certainly cheaper than litigation but the cost of the process will depend on a number of factors - the complexity of the issues, the number of meetings needed and whether you need to consult other experts, for example. It will save you stress and one of the main advantages may actually turn out to be saving time. The collaborative process can go at your pace, so you can go much faster than the courts if things go smoothly. This could be an advantage financially as well as enabling you to get on with the rest of your life.