What is Collaborative Law?
At its simplest, collaborative law is a new legal process to resolve relationship disputes without going to court. It originated in North America and has now been adapted to British family law where we already have a strong tradition of resolving family disputes constructively.
Both partners have their own collaborative lawyer and all four make a pledge to resolve issues together in a series of face-to-face round table meetings.
Central to the process is an agreement not to go to court. This commitment creates an incentive to be reasonable and resolve disputes without the threat of court action in the background.
Even when negotiations get tough, the investment both partners make in the process is usually enough to see them through to a successful conclusion. If they really can't agree, the couple are free to go to court but they must start over again with a new legal team.
At the heart of the process is the belief that an honest and respectful approach to resolving differences leads to better outcomes for you and your ex. People who use the collaborative route are better able to preserve family relationships and friendships, deal with their former partner in the future and can save themselves the financial and emotional costs of litigation through the courts.
Collaborative law is the best option for lesbian and gay couples because:
It avoids the worst aspects of traditional divorce
Parliament decided not to create a new set of rules for civil partnerships, so they follow most of the law on marriage and divorce. Many lesbian and gay couples are turned off by perceptions of the traditional divorce where couples blame each other for the break-up and fight acrimonious battles over the family finances. Although gay couples who have formed a civil partnership will have their relationships governed by the same laws, they do have the option of avoiding the traditional divorce and creating a new more dignified way of ending a relationship.
You escape the uncertainty of the courts
We know that the courts will apply the same principles to civil partnership dissolutions as they do in divorce cases but this is, as yet, uncharted territory. Judges have a wide discretion for deciding what is fair and reasonable in each individual case. We don't yet know how far they will take into account cultural differences between same sex and heterosexual couples but the best way to ensure your priorities are taken into account is to take control of the process by opting for collaborative law.
You can focus on what's important to you and resolve things quickly
With collaborative law everything is focussed on the issues you as a couple need to resolve and not some external timetable. Traditional divorces can grind along very slowly, working to a timetable set by the court. With a collaborative dissolution everything can go as quickly or slowly as you like - if your finances are relatively simple and you don't have children, it could all be wrapped up in just a few meetings. With your lawyers following your timetable instead of the court's, it's really up to you.
It helps you stay on friendly terms
We are more likely to keep in touch with our ex-es than our straight brothers and sisters. Collaborative law is a great way to resolve differences and still maintain a friendship. With expert legal help all the way, you can feel that no matter how upsetting the break-up, you've done the decent thing by each other.